Through the Faith

July  15
I decided to be home as early as I could. PAGASA announced that a strong typhoon will landed the PAR and it might bring strong wind and heavy rain. I left the client's place at exactly 5pm. There's no rain. I reached the house at 6pm. There's no rain. Since the DepEd already declared suspension of classes for the next day, I asked my siblings to join me to watch movies. All in all that night, we finished watching 3 movies. 
July 16
4:30am I woke up earlier than the usual days. Not because it's started raining but because I was excited to go to the office. It's the first day of our training. (Training we usually conduct to new clients for SAP Business One). I should be early because I need to be in Makati by 8.  I checked my phone and asked our HR head if work would possibly suspended due to the typhoon.  After an hour she texted me to stay  home to be safe. 
6:00am The wind started to blew stronger. Mama was almost yelling, instructing me to text my uncle. She was  so scared and so was I. The wind blew stronger. . And we cant control it. My brother stood beside me and my mama. My mom was praying to saints to stop the wind. I was praying to God. I pray louder as the wind got stronger. For the first time, I pray louder in front of my family. But I didn't pray for the rain and win to stop. I prayed that the Lord protect and seal our house with love so we'd be safe. 

8:00am I texted my friends to pray for us. The wind destroyed our roof as we all witnessed it. I tried to comfort mama. We're all wet. It's too cold. And my body was trembling. But not my faith. In the middle of the storm. God was telling me that 'when the storm comes, it'll reveal what we're made of. 

10:00am The storm aftermath http://www.tuxedosonline.com.

When I was praying for the Lord, I couldn't pray to God to stop the storm. I know storm are uncontrollable. But God is still God.

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Post-Father’s Day Post

While everyone was busy greeting their dad last June 15, the official Father’s Day date, I didn’t go online. It only breaks my heart so see everyone posting pictures with their dad and appreciating them. Oh how I wish I could also do the same. But it’s impossible now. 

Maybe some of you already read my blog post about my dad, that for the past 23 years, He’s not beside me. I only had the chance to see him when he died. Gone the days when I’m still hoping to be embraced. No more dancing with my dad again song. It’ll never happen anyway. And I regret that I stopped looking for him. But I have forgiven myself. It happened. I can’t take back the time.

Even if it’s a late father’s day post, I want to write for two groups of people.

A.      Those who still have their dad

I don’t know what your story is. I don’t know if you’re dad reflects a kind of father we have in heaven. It could be yes. If could be no. Whatever it is. Maybe, your dad beats you. Or maybe your dad shows a loving father.  Whether your dad shows that he’s proud of you or not, appreciate your dad. Show him that he’s the most important man in your life. Love him and respect him. Why? Because first and foremost it’s a commandment from God. And second, He’s your dad and nothing can change that. You’ll only regret that you didn’t make him feel loved once he’s gone. And third, you’re blessed enough that you still have him.

B.      Those who didn’t see their dad yet

Look for him while you still have time. Believe me, it’s as heartbreaking as losing my own life to see my dad on his coffin without hearing any words from him. Go after him. Create a wonderful memory with him like you’ve always dreamed of when you’re still a child. And forgive him. Forgive him that he left you. He might have reasons why he left you. By the time you meet him. Ask him why. And forgive him. There’s no perfect father here on earth. These. But don’t worry. God is father to the fatherless. You don’t need to look for a father figure in your life.

I’ll be glad if you share your story about your dad. Please do send me an email at marjietayoto@gmail.com

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The perfect father to me.....

In my previous post about my tatay, I mentioned that after 22 years of existing, I can only remember him when father's day is coming. I am getting used to it, living without his presence but I am still hopeful that one day, we're gonna meet. And that one day happened. 

Far from the expectation that I can still hear his voice saying my name, that I can still feel his embrace, I saw him for the first time, and for the last time; on his coffin. 

Last Sunday, November 3, Before the afternoon sunday service ended, my mom texted me to go home as early as I can to go with her in Laguna. While travelling home, my tears kept falling as if I knew what she's gonna tell me.  "Diba gusto mo sya makita?" she asked me that question after I ate dinner. (I cant just stop from crying because somehow, I can sense she's about to tell me something about my dad.) And when she said he died, all I want to do that moment was to rush in Laguna so I can see him. My body was shaking. I couldn't think of anything except of going to Laguna that night. I texted few close friends about what happened. I grabbed my bible, prayed. And read the word of God. Above anyone else who wants to give me comfort that time, I know, It's Him. 

Nothing is as heartbreaking as knowing that the only time I could see my dad, was on his burial.  It makes me feel hopeless. There will be no more chance of hugging him, eating dinner, saying I love him. And what breaks my heart more is that, he couldn't call me "anak". He didn't had a chance to see me, for 23 years. 

I wouldn't blame anyone about what happened. I wouldn't blame my mom that she didn't let me see tatay while he's still living. I wouldn't blame tatay that he didn't look for me. God allows these things for a good reason. And for whatever reason it may be, I know sooner, God will reveal it. I would not look for any father-image, Because God, my father, has been perfect father to our family. Providing for all our needs. Protecting us, Loving us unconditionally. 

And another thing, while mourning, I couldn't help not to be amazed how God words came true. Last February, when I celebrated my 22nd Birthday, God promised that this year, I'll be seeing  my dad. This has been the word of God to me since then. 

 The Lord answered, “I can do anything! Watch and you’ll see my words come true.” Numbers 11:23

Praise the Faithful Lord! Who's always true to His Promises. 

Related post about Tatay:

Dear Dad

Which Part of the movie made me cry 

If my life will be in movie

Waiting is always painful

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Oh Happy Day

In my previous post about building relationship,  I shared the importance of investing time as the first step in having a healthy relationship with others.

This morning, I jogged with my family. 

I am pursuing deeper relationship with my family now. How about you? when was the last time you had a quality time with your family?

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I am waiting for you

I was sited in front of the church, the praise and worship team were all prepared to sing. I've waited for you.  

Everyone stood up. Praise and worship team  were started singing, I keep waiting  on you.  

The sermon has started, I keep looking on the door. I wish, I could see you. 

The sunday service has ended, But I didn't see you. 

This happens to me, every sunday. I love sitting in front, so I can see the pastor and hear the sermon well, but I don't understand why I keep looking in the back, I dont understand why I keep looking on the door. It seems that, I am always waiting for someone to come and sit beside me. Until one sunday, As I sing a worship song, I've been thinking of my family. I've been thinking how it feels to serve and praise the Lord with them. 

I was sited in front of the church, the praise and worship team were all prepared to sing. I've waited for my mom. 

Everyone stood up. Praise and worship team  were started singing, I keep waiting  brother.  

The sermon has started, I keep looking on the door. I know one day, they will come.

"Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that members of your family would minister before me forever."

 1 Samuel 2:30

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Im no longer your baby

I just can't believe that I am a lady now. I can still remember those times when my mama used to prepare my things before I go to school. I can still remember how she cried because Im hard headed. And I remember every sacrifices she did for me. And now it's my turn to give back those sacrifices. Hello bigger responsibility!! I'll be treating my mom as a princess. Because she deserves it.

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Dear Dad,

I am very sorry that I only remember you when Father's Day is approaching. And since we do not celebrate children' day, I wonder if you can still remember me.

You know dad, I always wanted to post our picture's together. But sadly, I didn't have any of your pictures. I didn't have any idea how you look like. Since then, I always want to hear you calling me daughter. I always want to feel your embrace. But dad, if you're too busy with your life, I will understand that you can not manage to see me.

I always pray that one day, I can write the story of us, how we met and how I love to hear your voice. And I also pray that you will do an effort to look for me. I love you. You're still my dad after all. No one can replace you.

Edited:
As of this date June 14, 2014. I have already wrote our story.
Im sorry Papa, I didn't look after you when I still have the time ;(

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For the sweetest person I've known in my whole life,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!! 

At 21, you're already a mom, At 21, you faced the difficulty of giving birth to me. You know mama, I am so proud that though you're the one who's raising me, you never give me up. I know sometimes, Im giving you pains, and as I see tears that I caused you, It makes me think, If ever I have my own kids in the future, would they be as hard headed as me?. But one thing is for sure, I will teach my kids same lessons I learned from you. You are the very very best mom ever.  because: 

• You have colorful underwear's than mine
• You're calling him "boyfriend"
• You like hang out with my friends
• You want to have gimik at your age huh? haha
• You're everyone's crying shoulder
• You're acting every time as a dad haahha. 
• You're great!!

I cant wait to see you. Can't wait to hug and kiss you!! I love you mama. 

And thank you for showing me that you're strong. It inspires me. 

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Happy Birthday Strong Man!

N- ever will I forget you

O- f all the things I learned from you,

E- vry time, I think of you

L- alalalala I treasure you

 You know, I want to post something mushy cussy greetings for you, but I know this greetings will only end up with this three words. HAPPY BIRTHDAY  NOEL! (then insert the other three words here)  

And hey thank you. 

God loves you and so do I. 

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Papa is so sweet

We should admit that we all love chocolates. For no reason, Papa gave me chocolates last day. He gave me chocolates that was supposedly for him. He said he's too old to be addicted with sweets. Oh sweet him. I need chocolates at this moment. Too good timing. 

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For the strongest woman I've known in my whole life,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Happy Birthday mama, I wanna thank you for showing me that you're strong, it inspires me a lot. I know there are times that I made you cry, and it breaks my heart. I feel so sorry every time I caused you pain. I love you ma! I guess GOD really intend to separate us so I can appreciate you more. You know I miss you. I missed the times you're calling me Margarita, I missed the times you're yelling at me because I didn't obey you. I missed the times we used to do the household chores together. I missed the times you keep on reminding me that love can  wait, and how I miss you when there was a time that I really want to give up because of the pain I experienced, but then I realized, who am I to give up on that kind of pain? You didn't even give me up when you're all alone raising me, you didn't give up sending me in the school, you didn't give up on me those times I cried because I didn't want to do the Alphabet anymore, you didn't give me up. You never did. I know you had pain much more I experience, so who am I to easily give up on anything? I really admire that you still choose to smile despite of pain caused of your past. I admire you that you still choose to give despite of the fact that you didn't get anything in return. I admire you that you still choose to love despite of all the those heartaches haha. 

 I will imitate you when I have my own family. I will imitate you kindness and your sense of responsibility. I feel so proud of you. Though there are times that I hate you for being so hard-headed. You're not listening to me :) Saying thank you won't be enough to give back all the things you've done for me, to us. But I really pray to GOD every thing for you. Your happiness, and contentment. I know being a mother is not really really easy task for you, knowing you're all alone sending us to school, and giving us what we need, but still, you're trying to give us the best. And ma, for us, no one can replace you. 

This separation makes us long for you more, makes us love you more. 

See? Cindy and I grew up beautiful, Jerome is now taller than me. This picture reminds me that as we grow older, your hair is turning gray, your age is out of the calendar, you're growing old too mama. I always pray for your joy everyday. And I can't wait for the day that we will go to church and serve God together. Ma, Mabuhay!! We are so proud of you

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